Only Living Girl in LA
[Verse 1]
I'm the only girl alive in LA county
She feels isolated, as though she's the only one in her world, likely indicating a sense of loneliness or alienation in LA.
I'm the only one who sees (Ayy)
Expresses a feeling of being uniquely aware or burdened by an understanding others around her lack.
I wake up every day in some new kind of suffering
Hints at an enduring, evolving struggle, with each day bringing fresh emotional pain.
I've never known a day of peace
Her life is marked by turmoil, with peace being something she's yet to experience.
I wonder if I ever left behind my body (Ooh)
Imagines leaving behind her physical self, contemplating an escape from her suffering.
Do you think they'd laugh at how I die?
Considers the potential trivialization or dismissal of her death by others, exposing her insecurities.
Or take a photo of my family in the lobby
Reflects on the societal obsession with spectacle, even in death.
The ceremony's small inside
Visualizes a modest, perhaps intimate farewell, contrasting with public perceptions of fame.
'Cause I don't know if I could sell out my own funeral (Ah-ah)
Questions if her life would attract attention in death, showing a disconnect between her fame and personal worth.
At least not at this point in time
Suggests she may still hope for recognition or value at some point in her life.
And if I ever try to leave behind my body
Reflects on thoughts of escaping or separating from herself as a way to manage pain.
At least I know it was never mine, it was never mine
Highlights a sense of detachment or disownership over her body, likely due to external pressures or personal struggles.
[Verse 2]
Well, I'm the only girl alive in New York City
Maintains her sense of isolation, now extending it to a bustling city known for its crowdedness and impersonal feel.
I left my wallet on the train
Shows a lapse in self-care, possibly symbolizing a loss of identity or control.
Since I no longer even have a driver's license
Reinforces her disconnection from her identity, with a literal loss of personal identification.
I guess that means I have no name (This is Halsey St)
Suggests a feeling of being nameless or forgotten in a vast, indifferent city.
And I could run away to somewhere on the West Coast
Entertains the idea of escaping to a different location, in hope of finding a sense of self or peace.
And finally be a real-life girl
Conveys a desire for authenticity and freedom from her public persona.
Go take my organs and they'll hang me from a bedpost
Highlights a feeling of exploitation, as if even her death would be objectified.
Sayin' I was too soft for this world
Implying that sensitivity and vulnerability are viewed as weaknesses, especially in high-pressure environments.
And they'd be right, because quite frankly, to be alive
It shouldn't kill me every day, the way it does
Reflects on the paradox of her existence: life itself is causing her pain, challenging her ability to endure.
I don't know what I did to have this fate I'm drenched in it
She feels resigned to her struggles, as if cursed with unending hardship.
And I can't even run from what I know
Admits she cannot escape the awareness of her suffering or what she endures.
My special talent isn't writing, it's not singing
It's feeling everything that everyone alive feels every day
Conveys that her true "talent" is her heightened sensitivity to emotions, both hers and others.
Feels every day, feels every day, feels every day
[Verse 3]
I think I'm special 'cause I cut myself wide open
Explores her belief that vulnerability and self-revelation set her apart.
As if it's honorable to bleed
Questions the glorification of emotional suffering, wondering if it's genuinely meaningful or necessary.
But I'm not lucky and I know I wasn’t chosen
Recognizes that her pain isn’t a noble burden; it’s just an unfortunate reality.
The world keeps spinnin' without me
Reminds herself that her struggles are personal and unnoticed by the larger world.
I told my mother I would die by twenty-seven
Refers to the famed "27 Club" of young artists lost early, symbolizing a sense of predestined self-destruction.
And in a way, I sort of did
Implies a part of her spirit or identity has already "died" due to fame and hardship.
This thing I love has grown demanding and obsessive
Expresses the toll of her passion and career on her well-being, as it's become a consuming force.
And it wants more than I can give, than I can give, than I can give
[Verse 4]
Well, I'm the only girl alive in LA County
I've never known a day of peace
Revisits her isolation in LA, reiterating her constant inner turmoil.
I wake up every day and wish that I was different
Expresses a desire for change, wishing for relief from her struggles and her nature.
I look around and it's just me
Ends with a stark acknowledgment of her loneliness.
It's just me, it's just me
[Outro]
Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
Ooh, ayy
Wee-ooh, wee-ooh, yeah-yeah
The outro uses vocal sounds to emphasize a haunting and unresolved feeling.
I'm the only one, the only one, it's me
Concludes with an acceptance of her solitude, highlighting her loneliness as the central theme of the song.
